Episode 107 - A Very España Thanksgiving

Tighten your turkey holes and prepare for some stuffing, it’s Thanksgiving at DTS!

We’re shooting blanks and giving thanks for everything on our glorious flat earth in this “very special” episode of your favorite colonial crap-cast. Prepare yourself for a hearty helping of news, trailers, and giblets including Beetlejuice 2, a prequel to The Omen, and a very bad CGI Gator! Gorge your gullets on a timely and topical exploration of Eli Roth’s salacious slasher THANKSGIVING! Our final course is a preview of the Shudder exclusive WHEN EVIL LURKS, a film so españa we had to do a google search to figure out how to type it into this paragraph. Feliz día de acción de gracias, horror sluts!

Episode 106 - Five (Erotic) Nights at McKamey Manor

Ladies, Gentlemen, and Cold-Blue-Spread-Eagle-Husks, your favorite para-professional podcasters are back once again! Having recently celebrated the spooky season in the most magnificent of fashions, we’re ready to share our experiences (and infections) with you, the last of our loyal listeners. Consider yourselves the chosen few who will accompany us on our inevitable psychosexual space journey through the stars (and eventually become our only source of sustenance) as we drift aimlessly toward destiny in an effort to commune with the higher power we’ve been chasing ever since our families forced us to attend all those boring AA meetings. Also, we'll be talking about McKamey Manor, the Five Nights at Freddy's debacle, and new nocturnal releases from our hero Fede Alvarez.

Get ready for our signature blend of news, trailers, and …you know how this works just listen to the episode.

Episode 105 - Mid-Summer of Sixty-Nine

The ramblin’ boys of DTS reminisce about love, loss, and positions past as we bid a fairly fond farewell to what turned out to be an overall pretty mid summer. After an entirely gratuitous and unnecessary season-long sabbatical, we’re back in the habit (like a nun on the run) and ready to distract you from your monotonous yet potentially hazardous day jobs with our signature blend of whore-flavored horror humor!

Remember: if you lose a finger because your favorite podcast hosts distracted you with dick jokes, your employer owes you compensation. Consider retaining one of us for legal representation, just don’t expect us to ever be in the same room again because we’re fighting. One of us is completely mid and the other has a sexual disease, so choose wisely. (You can find the phone number in your nearest bathroom stall)

This episode we review “TALK TO ME”, a ghost movie so scary they had to make it in the outback. Welcome to Season 5!

Episode 102 - Let's Get Ready to Humble -or- Cleanup On Aisle Sheik

The incorrigible inebriates at DTS are confused to announce that we are now filming in front of a live studio audience! If you prefer your comedy situational, then we sure have something for you to sit through. Don’t worry, just turn your mind off and laugh when the person next to you does. Did you say you’re alone in a dark room with a drugpipe in one hand and a 64oz Mellow Yellow in the other? Then let us be your tour guides on this journey to prosperity. Remember kid, only shooting stars break the mold.

Oh, and this episode’s feature review is the 1989 Scott Spiegel supermarket smashterpiece “INTRUDER”! It’s got Bruce Campbell and some Raimi’s involved, so you know this isn’t your grandma’s weekly trip to the local Food Lion. Hide your kids, hide your wife, and tape up your orifices just to be safe, because the INTRUDER is coming, and he’s hungry for fresh produce. That’s not a metaphor.

Episode 101 - YLIMAF RUOY LLIK

After a mind-altering encounter with a somewhat sinister fish, the courageous pioneers at DTS have returned from a mysterious mountain getaway with a crazed look in their eye and a Lovecraftian tale of terror to tell!

Tune in as we ramble and rave through news and trailers, and struggle to maintain our tenuous grip on sanity with reviews of two of the biggest releases of the season. First, we expore the nature of narcissistic night stalking (and the ravenous rantings of Nic “National Treasure” Cage) as we discuss Chris Mckay’s RENFIELD. Then its time for an unprecedented trip to the terror tower as deadites diversify their domiciles in our multi-level elevator accessed superstructure review of Lee Cronin’s EVIL DEAD: RISE. Will we succomb to the Walachian whims of a vituperative vampire? Will we somehow come to our senses and kick our undead adversaries out a fifth story window? This episode probably neglects to offer any real answers, but one thing is for sure…WE SAW THE FISH, AND IT DROVE US MAAAAAAD!!

Episode 100 - Eat Frog Juice, Suck Monkey

Your two favorite horror hosts courageously fight on through all manner of sickness and drug-fuelled dementia for the stunning conclusion of FELDMARCH!

We’re drinking tea and filling our cavities with as many pills as we can handle (with the help of our favorite martial arts master), to bring you all the Corey Content you can cram into your crannies. If you love extreme sports as much as you love sucking on Corey, you’ll really want to dig your little fangs into our feature review of 2008’s “LOST BOYS 2: THE TRIBE”… it truly is the tribal tattoo of vampire movie sequels. The FELD must MARCH on!

Episode 99 - The Comeback King of Klopchek Court

DTS is back after our most controversial (and successful!) last episode, and we’re ready to celebrate FELDMARCH! That’s right, it’s an entire month (give or take a few weeks) entirely devoted to the fabulous frog brother, the glorious goonie, the manic-moonwalker, the Jason-killer, and supposedly one of the fucking ninja turtles… our personal favorite Corey… it’s FELDMAN!

But first we’re bringing you all the news, trailers, teasers, and tidbits you can handle! That’s why people listen to us right? RIGHT?!

Our Feature Feldview is the 1989 Feldsterpiece “THE ‘BURBS”, starring Tom “Not-Corey” Hanks and Corey “Not-Haim” Feldman. If you thought the last episode was incredible (it was), get ready for a full on Feld-manic meltdown of suburban proportions!

Episode 98 - The Diarrhea Daiquiri Bathwater Simulator (v1.6.9)

DTS is back and better than ever, baby!

After a brief hiatus, your favorite horror podcast is poised to make it’s triumphant return. Get ready for a new era of terror, trivia, and titillation, because we have finally achieved our true ultimate form. And by that we mean that Greg is gone, and Micah has found a new alcoholic miscreant to help him drag his soggy ass through news, trailers, and…whatever. Get ready to hear a lot about 2022’s “TRASH JUICE”, including an interview with director/shiteater Doug Waugh (from Slashers podcast and B-Movie TV).

(Note: In response to recent concerns about our signature brand of offensive humor, this episode has been edited from it’s original form. It took almost 100 episodes but we finally received threats. Luckily, Episode 98 v1.6.9 is now even better than before. Nothing can keep DTS down, not even terrorism!)

https://linktr.ee/damnthatsscarypod

Episode 96: Part II - Sloppy Seconds -or- I Am The Walrus

For those of you out there who enjoy standing in line for intercourse, your wait is over… [Part II] is here!

If you made it through our review of “FEAST” (and are somehow still hungry for more), its time to strap on your lucha mask, pile yourself into a hastily assembled catapult, and launch yourself into a world of pure unbridled entertainment for 2008’s “FEAST II: SLOPPY SECONDS”! If you’re tired of wasting time at your boring old grandma’s house, celebrate the holidays with the Gulagers this year…the food isn’t as good, but you’re guaranteed to come home sticky!

Episode 96: Part I - THAT'S MY ROONEY!

Have you ever wondered what would happen if the Grinch(tm) murdered everyone in Whoville? Or what would happen if someone fed a boatload of Cocaine to a Bear? Ever pontificate on the questionable acting choices of Mickey “Mr. Yunioshi” Rooney? This episode will answer all the important questions in life (and some of the really stupid ones), so tune in and check out our newest trailers, previews, updates, and indecent proposals. And if you think that sounds inappropriate, wait until you hear our feature review of a super sloppy sequel in [Part II]!

Episode 95: Part II - The Amazing Gallagher Brothers

According to the homeless individuals we polled on the street outside the BICBP studio, the new format is a raging success (and we’re a ton of fun to drink with)! So for those of you who get crippling headaches when things don’t come to completion, your frustration is over… [Part II] is here!

Our feature review this week is the 2005 carnivorous classic “FEAST”! If you love gratuitous gore, frantic fornication, controversial comedy, and/or are personal friends with everyone in the Gulager family…throw on your favorite Oasis album and treat yourself to this epic tale of wonder and woe! Or don’t, but you’ll miss out on the apology corner and a bunch of Wonderwall jokes…

Episode 95: Part I - Man's Game Supernova

Here at DTS we’re nothing if not innovators (and alcoholics), so this week we’re bringing you a new format!

[Part I] is all the recent horror news, previews, trailers, teasers and tossers you expect from our concupiscent cohosts! We also lament the passing of (yet another) of our fallen celebrity heroes, and celebrate the fruit-filled seasonal harvest that we’ve all been missing for so many years. Stay tuned for [Part 2] for a feature review that’s sure to have you giving thanks…for our accurate and insightful commentary! It’s like “GRINDHOUSE” but both parts star Kurt Russell and you won’t have to pee in a cup during the intermission (unless you want to, we don’t judge)!

Episode 94 - Maneater, Come Out To Play-ay

We’re back and we’re blastin’ bears straight up your bruin chute with the epic conclusion of OCTOBEAR! New updates on the Stranger Things” Season 5 opener, Danny Boyle’s super sequel “28 Months Later”, Dobberman does “Salem’s Lot”, Ghostface Takes Manhattan, Brian Fuller’s “Friday the 13th” Prequel, Bronenberg’s “Infinity Pool”, and much much more! Then we’re joined by guest host RoboRemar(tm) for our feature review of Hank Braxton’s 2015 bear-bortion “UNNATURAL (aka MANEATER)”! If you ever wondered what would happen if Ajax teamed up with Audrey Horne to fight a genetically enhanced polar bear, then this film will make all of your unnecessarily specific dreams come true!

Episode 93 - BEARSTOCK '83: Three Days of Peace, Love, and Bullsh*t

We’re deep into spooky season and we’re so jacked up on reboots we can BEAR-ly contain ourselves! That’s right, OCTOBEAR rages on as we give you poignant, insightful reviews of HELLRAISER (2022), HALLOWEEN ENDS, and our usual slew of teasers, trailers, and titillations! Then we take to the woods to explore the epic tale of a burly lumberjack and his lifelong killer vendetta against any and all unwary ursids—it’s 1983-2021’s “GRIZZLY II: THE REVENGE”! After almost 40 years of post production it has to be good, right?…RIGHT?! HAPPY HALLOWEEN, BEAR BUSTERS!

Episode 92 - The Bear Obscenities

It’s time to say “sayonara, Samhain” and “hasta la vista, Halloween”, because here at DTS we’re celebrating the menacing month of OCTOBEAR! It’s exactly what it sounds like…we’re doing bear movies now. BUT FIRST, we talk trailers, speculate on “SPAWN”, and drill into the Dahmer series (starring Evan “Eat It” Peters)! More importantly, we give you the only correct opinion on Robb Zombie’s “The Munsters” (hint: its the best). Our feature review is 1979’s eco-conscious ursine bear-venture “THE PROPHECY”! No, not the one with Chris Walken, but there is a chainsaw fight and a big mushy ManBearPig! IT’S UNBEARLIEVABLE!

Episode 91 - DAMN, THAT'S KRAMER!

FULL FOON FUMMER FFFFT comes to an end, and the virile vulgarians at DTS are experimenting with A.I. technology! Things get a little dicey, judgment day is narrowly avoided, and we bring you all the news and previews you expect from the consummate professionals that we are. Our craptastic creature-feature this week is 1987’s “CREEPOZOIDS!” starring Linnea Quigley (and friends)! Don’t let the title fool you, it’s actually high-concept science fiction because we’re intellectuals with degrees and…ok it sucks.

Episode 90 - Hans Landa Pays the P*ssy Piper -or- Inglourious Bitches!

Someone put a silver bullet between our eyes, because we’re officially sick and tired of all these freakin’ werewolves! Our FUZZY FUMMER FANTASY is almost over, and soon we’ll be rid of these full-moon fleabags! But first, we bring you some upcoming previews, including District 10 (and a very special, slippery guest), the 4K UHD release of one of our favorite films, and a brief but undeniably reverent eulogy for Clu “Burt Burt” Gulager. Our feature review is arguably the worst thing to ever emerge from a secret lab in nazi Germany, its Andrew Jones’ 2017 historic-horror-holo…graph…“WEREWOLVES OF THE THIRD REICH”! It was so unpleasant to watch, you’d think it was directed by Arnolf Hilter himself!!

Episode 89 - Whoop Whoop, There It Is (ft. Violent G and Shaggy 2 Rose)

The 2022 FULL MOON FUNFETTI FESTIVAL forges on! So grab your grease paint and cream up your pies, because DTS is going ICP! We’ve graduated from clown college with flying colors, and we’re traveling the world with the sketchiest carnival this side of the methadone clinic! But first, we discuss the release of “The Lair” by Neil Marshall, an upcoming R-Rated “Scooby Doo” starring Freddie “Fred” Prinze Jr., and an as-yet-unnamed erotic thriller involving Barbara Crampton and Jeffy Combs! Our funhouse feature is the 2010 clowntastic classic “KILLJOY 3: KILLJOY’S REVENGE”! So if you like Stephen King’s '“IT”, but you’re too much of a juggalo to be concerned with things like “acting” or “plot”, join us on our journey to the carnival of carnage! WHOOP WHOOOOOOOP!!

Episode 88 - John Kimble vs The State of New York -or- The Werewolf Women of Amityville

What’s better than a film about a needlessly violent kindergarten cop brawling his way through a halfway house full of hot-to-trot teenage were-women? LITERALLY ANYTHING. This week, your two favorite alcoholics hit the road to Amityville, but instead of horror we find only shame and regret (again). But first, we lament the fantastic failure that is Resident Evil (the show, not the games), anticipate the newest upcoming brain-twister by monumental mindfreak M. Night Shyamalan (starring Dave “Not Groot” Bautista), and celebrate the undisputed perfection of Rob Zombie’s take on “The Munsters”! Our feature review is the worst thing to happen in 2021, Thomas J. Churchill’s embarrassing attempt at entertainment “THE AMITYVILLE MOON”. It’s a…well, it’s a movie. But don’t worry, the DTS FULL MOON FUMMER FEST fails upward, onward, and always!

Episode 87 - Let Your Freak Flag Flagellate

After a week long lasagna bender celebrating the current YEAR(?) OF THE FULL MOON, your favorite semolina slayers find themselves imprisoned in the dank, dark depths of a kinky Italian castle! We discuss upcoming releases from Isaac “EZ” Ezban and “Money” Mike Flanagan, then speculate on the subtext of Stranger Things, and feign enthusiasm for the sure-to-be-sh*t-show that is Halloween Ends! Our feature review is Stuart Gordon’s cautionary tale of drunk driving and hastily-inherited foreign real estate…1995’s “CASTLE FREAK”! We’re spaghetti soldiers on a meatball mission, and not even a cat-hungry, sack-dragging, albino CHUD can hold us back!